


Not Without You

by krisrussel



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-15
Updated: 2013-02-15
Packaged: 2017-11-29 09:20:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/685343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krisrussel/pseuds/krisrussel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missing scene at the end of Home. <br/>With a flash-forward at the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Without You

**Author's Note:**

> missing scene challenge from failegaidin on LJ. Thanks for organizing this and I’m sorry for the late entry!   
> Huge thanks to my beta’s SK and Mikki!! You guys are the best!!!  
> Also, the sadness of the end will kill you... I'm sorry about that...

The overall mood of the city felt down. Elizabeth couldn't blame them. For a while, hope had risen high about their return to Earth, about seeing friends and family. But when the team had returned from M5S-224 with solemn looks on their faces, the mood in the control room had gone down and that foul mood had spread around the rest of the city almost instantly.  
Elizabeth had become tired of the depressing mood and had secluded herself to one of the balconies along the east pier. Barely anyone ever came here, so she was assured of solitude. For a while she just stared out over the city and the calm water, breathing in deep and trying to free her mind from everything that had happened. Trying to forget about a Simon who seemed the same but had tiny differences. Differences she had always hoped she would see in him. Trying to forget how much his kiss reminded her of the one kiss she had shared with a certain Major not that long ago after a hefty Athosian party.  
Groaning, she buried her head in her hands. She really should not be thinking about that particular moment right now.

“Hey.”  
The soft voice startled her and she straightened herself, glancing behind her to see the man she was just trying to clear from her mind standing in the doorway. His hands were in his pockets and his stance told her he was waiting for her permission to come closer. She wondered when he had ever needed her permission to do that. Waving to the spot next to her, he slowly approached and stood next to her, resting his hands on the railing.  
“Beautiful view,” he simply stated.  
“It is,” she agreed.

For a while there was nothing but silence between them. After some time though, Elizabeth let out a sigh. “How did you know I was here?”  
John shrugged. “It’s my job.”  
She knew he meant much more, but didn’t ask about it or point it out to him. Instead she simply gave him a small grateful smile, knowing he’d always be there for her.

“What gave it away for you?” he asked after another moment of silence.  
She shrugged. Some tiny, naughty, part of her wanted to say ‘because my boyfriend kissed like you.’  
“It was just the tiny differences.”  
He nodded in understanding. “Somehow everything went too easy and was too good to be true.”  
“Exactly.”  
He didn’t say how much he had wished for her to be there, instead of Teyla. The things they could have done...

More silence. And both barely noticed anymore how silence between them made them feel comfortable though with other people it made them feel completely uncomfortable.

“What would you have done if you were really stuck back on Earth?” she carefully asked.  
“Fight whoever I needed to fight to get back here,” he answered without hesitation. However, he kept the ‘back to you,’ to himself.  
“Same here,” she said, keeping the ‘back to you,’ to herself.  
They shared an understanding smile.

“I’m not... not sure I could do this without you,” she said hesitantly after a while.  
He gave her a curious look and was surprised at the vulnerability on her face. It took every fibre in his body to keep himself for reaching out to her and wrapping her in his arms. It wasn’t normal for them to be so open towards each other and it surprised him that he was actually okay with this.  
“Same here,” he said softly.  
She was surprised by the open look on his face and she knew that if she talked to him now, he would actually reveal things about himself he would never want to talk about at other times. But she also knew that there was a slight chance he would regret it later, so she kept quiet and turned back to look at the city.

“I wouldn’t want to do this without you,” he surprised both of them with his sudden statement and she turned back to him, eyes full of wonder.  
He was still staring at the city, so she softly called his name and he slowly turned to look at her. When she cupped his cheek, he swallowed and automatically leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. For a second he was lost to the world until she pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around him and leaning her head on his shoulder. It took him a second to get over his surprise, but eventually he wrapped his arms around her and held her close.  
“We’ll always do this together,” she whispered against the skin of his neck.  
“Always,” he whispered against her hair.  
It almost sounded like a promise, and he hated that he would probably be killed long before her and break this promise.

Years later he will regularly find himself back on that balcony, missing her presence more than he would have ever imagined back then.   
Sometimes he shouts at the empty air, cursing the Replicators, Rodney and even her.   
Sometimes he simply grips the railing, staring out over the city, trying not to think about what could have been.   
Mostly he cries, thinking about how he still doesn’t want to do this without her.

The End


End file.
